Thursday, February 28, 2008

Study shows major catastrophe could cause catastrophic damage

LEVELTOWN - Scientists warn that a disaster of some kind, if large enough, could wreak mass havoc across the nation or even the world.

"If the Pacific Northwest experiences an earthquake near 9 on the Richter scale, that would be very bad," said Ennio Gojira, one of a panel of disaster experts convened earlier today to present their findings.

A dozen panelists presented simulations that show what would happen in a number of situations if the conditions were conducive to colossal destruction.

Catastrophologist Theodore Striker warned of the potential destruction possible in a meteor strike. "If something the size of a small city hits, even in the ocean, it can mean extinction for all of us."

Still others reminded the audience of the possibility of supervolcanoes, megatsunami, nearby gamma ray bursts, Gulf Stream shutdown, pandemic and technological singularity.

"If the enormous supervolcano under Yellowstone suddenly erupted, the whole midwest would be a wasteland and we'd have decades of nuclear winter," said Casper Destry, an avid watcher of educational television.

"Half of La Palma island could slide into the Atlantic, and the eastern U.S. would be under water," said Melinda Tarkes, a geology major at Metro State.

"There could be a superbug out there just waiting to kill us all in 72 hours," said Gojira.

One panelist pointed out that the events in question were only remotely probable.

"But any one of these things could wipe us out, if it's on an unprecedented scale," Striker told the unnamed panelist.
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