Saturday, April 5, 2008

Infant Implicated in Juicing Scandal

ELMO, MT - Parents of 8-month-old Citronella Shreda announced that she was in fact one of the parties named in a sealed document to be released Friday. The document presents the findings of a months-long inquest into growth- and performance-enhancing substances provided to small children by their parents, relatives and child care providers.

Shreda faced minutes of grueling questioning in the hearing, but refused to provide a single answer. Her parents have also declined comment, only saying through a prepared statement that they "want what's best" for their daughter.

The family has set up a legal defense fund, with which they hope to provide a better future for Citronella.
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Please don't submit anything you wouldn't want your mother to hear at your trial.