Friday, December 30, 2016

New border wall to be made of indestructible plastic packaging

ARIZONA - The incoming Trump administration's promise to build a wall covering the entire U.S.-Mexico border will consist of hard plastic clamshell packaging like the kind used for many products sold in stores.

"It's a novel approach to border containment, and it gives us several advantages," said Christopher Crossley, the transition official in charge of the newly formed Wall Department.

"At the top of the list is cost. This whole thing will run us just a few hundred thousand dollars. Then you've got strength and visibility. This material, as most consumers will attest, is harder to cut than brick or steel. And since it's clear plastic, we can see what's going on before anyone can get too far."

Testing has been underway for weeks, but many volunteers who attempted to cut through the barrier gave up due to severely sore thumb muscles and scissor blisters.

Crossley expects a dramatic drop in illegal border crossings. "If you've ever tried to cut through one of these packages, you know how hard it is. After a while, you just give up."
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