Date reaches record high

GREENWICH - The calendar date reached an all-time historic high today, May 8, 2008. Observers of time report that humanity has never seen or recorded later dates.

"This is much, much later than dates we had in the 5th century, the Renaissance, or even the 90's," said calendar maker Chip Wheeler. "And it's only going up, I'm afraid."

The previous record high date was set on May 7, 2008, but pundits say the rest of this week will easily surpass it.

Wheeler warns that we can expect higher and higher dates throughout the year, and that they won't be coming down.

"You'll see a monthly flux in the days of the month, but overall the trend is one of inflation. It's not like in the days of Egyptians."

This Day In History - 1984: REO Speedwagon discontinues fighting feeling

CHAMPAIGN, IL - American rock band REO Speedwagon brought closure to an unspecified feeling on this day in 1984.

Songwriter and lead singer Kevin Cronin asserted his unwillingness to prolong a number of related sentiments in the early power ballad "Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore", which reached number one on the U.S. pop charts. Cronin was quoted as saying that there was "no reason for my fear."

Sources say the feeling alluded to in the song is one of falling in love with someone who's been a friend for a long time. After nearly 25 years, though, Cronin confesses to having forgotten what he originally started fighting for.

Pyramid design result of budget shortfall

GIZA - The only remaining structure of the ancient "Seven Wonders of the World" incorporated budgetary compromises into its design, according to researchers.

Believed to have been built as a tomb for Pharaoh Khufu of the fourth Egyptian dynasty, the Great Pyramid of Giza was originally supposed to be a cube. Blueprints uncovered by a team of archaeologists reveal that cuts in construction costs dictated the trimmed-back shape we see today.

"This thing was built over the course of twenty years," said lead researcher Ed Casey. "You got a workforce easily topping 100,000 and who knows how many foremen. Coordinating work quarters, quarries, transportation... it had to be a nightmare."

Casey points to some hieroglyphs scrawled on an early draft of the pyramid's plans as evidence that the money, labor and materials were not in enough supply to realize the original vision.

"Early in Khufu's reign, maybe 2580 B.C. or so, this was the plan," said Casey. An unnamed architect scribbled some rough estimates on the cost of stone and timelines, along with this telling note: "We can save two-thirds on materials by reducing each of the four sides to triangles."

This Day In History - 1968: NASA announces layoffs of astronauts in orbit